


Breathe Again

by WhatTheWentz



Category: Class (TV 2016)
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilt, M/M, Spoilers for episode: s01e06: Detained, Vampire Diaries watching, mentioned panic attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-31 22:45:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8596705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatTheWentz/pseuds/WhatTheWentz
Summary: Follow-up of episode 1x06; Charlie and Matteusz return home and talk.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I needed to write some Charlie/Matteusz hurt/comfort after that ep because i feel so sad

If Matteusz Andrzejewski understood anything about life, he knew that there were always bad days; arguments, tragedies, being thrown out by your homophobic parents -- he had survived through it all.

 

His boyfriend Charlie, on the other hand was different.  He had most certainly had bad days; watching his entire species being snuffed out was definitely one of them, but he had always mastered keeping his emotions to himself.

 

It was his duty, after all.

 

The Prince of Rhodia had grown up sheltered, alone, never allowed a single thought to himself until he eventually began to parrot his parents and do their bidding.

 

Then came that fateful detention, where a still-irritated Miss Quill locked Charlie and his entire group of ‘friends’ (after the night they’d had, he wasn’t sure if it was even appropriate to call them that anymore) in a room, which did absolute  _ wonders  _ for Charlie’s claustrophobia, then one-by-one, they were all made to tell the truth due to an evil space-rock (which made him realise just how out of control his life was).

  
The truth, as many wise people said, hurt.

 

Matteusz was afraid of Charlie, Tanya thought he was stupid and wasn’t her friend, every single bit of truth ached.  Then, at the end of the night, Miss Quill was released from his grasp, so he couldn’t even irritate her.

 

She had left the classroom with a smirk etched across her features, gun in her hand, not a care or duty in the world.  She was free from him, from all of this.

 

When Charlie and Matteusz returned home, it felt cold and empty, like something had been ripped from it.  Neither one had spoken a word on the journey back, just walked in silence, stealing a glance when the other looked away.

 

Charlie took off his coat, his limbs feeling as heavy as his heart before he slung it up onto the hanger.  He didn’t even notice Matteusz take off his coat as he walked into the living room, collapsing onto the sofa with a sigh and putting his head in his hands.

 

He was still coming down from the panic attack earlier, his entire being buzzing like static, his mind unfocused as he remembered the tightening in his chest, the feel of his heart racing at twice the normal speed, his vision blurring in and out as he gasped for air.  It took all his will not to slip back into the attack but Matteusz’s advice from earlier was what relaxed him again.

 

_ Breathe with me. _

 

Meanwhile, Matteusz was still standing at the coat-hanger, trying to consider what to say.  His mind was reeling from seeing Charlie so upset earlier that day, and all he wanted to do was hold him, but knew it wouldn’t give him much comfort.

 

He exhaled, then walked into the dark living room, flicking on the light before he spoke, “Are you okay?”

 

Charlie weakly replied, “I can answer that question one of two ways.  A truth or a lie.  And I think we’ve had enough of the former for today, so I’m okay.”

 

The human sat down beside his boyfriend but although they sat close, he could feel the distance between them.  Charlie lifted his head, looking blankly ahead as if he was searching for some answer.

 

“Charlie… tell me what to say.  Tell me how I can make this right.” Matteusz pleaded, desperation swimming in his eyes, “Please.  Let me make this better.”

 

Charlie coldly retorted, trying to wrangle his emotions back under control, “That’s the thing, Matteusz.  You can’t.  None of us can.  It’s all out in the open now.”   
  


“So sometimes, you hate me?” Matteusz asked, then wiped at his own eyes, “Charlie, every couple, every friendship has issues.  You can’t just give up--”

 

Charlie interjected, raising his voice,  _ “I can’t give up?!  Well, too bad, because you know what?”  _ he took a shuddering breath to try and calm himself, “I am  _ sick  _ of fighting!  I just want it to be over and do you know what I did today?  I became a  _ murderer.   _ That is who I am.”

 

“Charlie…” Matteusz swallowed back the tears, “Let me help you.”

 

The Prince shook his head, “You fear me, Matteusz.  I can’t… I don’t want… I don’t want you to feel that way about me, and I hate that there’s nothing I can do about it!” Charlie’s voice was returning to a hysterical shriek, his hands shaking on his lap.

 

“Yes.” Matteusz began, “Yes, sometimes I am afraid.  Afraid for you, afraid to lose you, to yourself and to others.  But you know what that is?  That is love.  I fear for you because I don’t think I could ever lose you.”

 

Charlie ducked his head, “Everything that was said about me was true.  I-I’m stupid, and capable of such evils.   You have every right to fear me.”

 

“I love you.” Matteusz sharply stated, “And I always will.  That will never,  _ ever  _ change.  You won’t ever lose me.  I promise.”

 

The words seemed to affect Charlie, the anger in his pose melting back down to a more anxious, miserable one, his head bowed once more.  Matteusz heard a noise come from his boyfriend that sounded like wheezing and prepared himself in case it was another panic attack, but when he cupped Charlie’s cheek, he noticed he was not gasping for air, but weeping.

 

Somehow, it felt more like a blow to the chest to see his love in this state -- sure, he had seen Charlie cry before, at the prom whilst faced up against the Shadow Kin, when Dorothea almost forced him to use the Cabinet of Souls and when he confessed that he wanted to kill the Shadow Kin, but this was different -- it felt rawer, more painful.

 

Charlie was completely falling apart in front of him, and Matteusz was frozen.  He was new to this; not emotions, he had definitely felt them, but being this caring to someone else -- it was new ground he had yet to cover in his journey in life.

 

He opted to gather him close, turning slightly so Charlie could lean into his chest.   It wasn’t the most comfortable of positions and was exceedingly awkward, but it seemed to somewhat work as Charlie sobbed into his shoulder.

 

Matteusz pressed kisses over the side of his boyfriend’s head whilst murmuring, “I love you.” repeatedly, trying to make sure he got the message.

 

Hours passed, and the two had shifted so that Charlie was fully lying against Matteusz’s chest, their legs tangled together under a blanket Matteusz had retrieved.  The television was turned on in the background, but neither really were drawn into this particular Vampire Diaries episode, they were more focused on each other.

 

“I don’t know how to cook.” Charlie stated, “Quill normally made our food -- or at least, she tried to.” he looked vaguely panicked, “Oh no, are we going to starve?”

 

Matteusz couldn’t help the laugh that broke from him, “You are adorable.”

 

“Thank you, but I don’t think that quite solves our problem.” Charlie retorted.

 

Matteusz smiled, “Do not worry, Charlie.  I can cook somewhat, or we could always order a pizza.  We’ll be fine.” his fingers ran through his boyfriend's’ hair gently, soothingly, “Besides, I do not think she’ll be gone for long.  Everyone finds a home eventually.”

 

A couple of minutes passed whilst Matteusz and Charlie watched the onscreen fight between Stefan and Klaus as Elena stood helpless.  The Original was commanding Stefan to turn off his emotions, which caused Charlie to think about what he would do if he had the ability to switch his humanity off in a flash.

 

He knew in the end, he couldn’t.  He couldn’t willingly lose the way he felt about Matteusz, and although he was terrified and sure he was going to lose him, he knew he had to make the most of the time they had together.

 

“Thank you.” Charlie began, pulling Matteusz’s attention away from the screen once more, “Erm… Thank you.  For everything.  I know I don’t deserve it.”

 

“Charlie…-”

 

Charlie held up a hand to silence the other, “No.  It’s okay.  I don’t.  But still, you go ahead and you be my light.” he managed a gentle smile and confessed for the second time that day, “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.” Matteusz rested his forehead against his boyfriends’, “More than anything.”

 

Charlie shuffled upward so he could press his lips against Matteusz’s in a gentle kiss.  It was a relaxing, brief gesture, and after they broke apart, Charlie returned to resting his head on Matteusz’s chest.

 

“Ugh.” Charlie remarked, his focus on the screen, “God, I hope she doesn’t choose Damon after how hard Stefan fought compulsion this episode.”   
  


Matteusz grinned, then pecked Charlie’s forehead, “We’ll see.  Next episode?”

 

“Mm.” Charlie replied, slightly exhausted.

 

Suddenly, there was a sound of the door opening, making both boys sit up in shock.  The shock intensified when Miss Quill came through the door, her eye still scarred from whatever horrors she had faced.

 

When she saw the couple, she grumbled, “Oh, don’t look at me like that.  I only came back because I don’t dislike  _ him.”  _ she gestured towards Matteusz before disappearing.

 

Charlie and Matteusz exchanged looks that were a mix between confusion and relief before snuggling back together.

 

Miss Quill then called through from the kitchen, “I swear to God, if that’s that Vampire Journals show again, I’ll  _ not  _ be happy!”

**Author's Note:**

> kudos, comment etc!


End file.
